Sunday, February 13, 2011

Religious Texts and Modern Law

As it is no secret that I am vehemently opposed to any restrictive legislations that specifically target homosexuals, I have participated in numerous debates on the topic. One of the most obnoxious arguments has to be the appeal to the Bible as a source of defining authority. "We can't allow gays to marry because the Bible says it is a sin." Oh really?

Well if we're going to change our state constitutions to ensure a Biblically-approved legislation, let's look at some of the Biblical suggestions that we should write into our civil code.

Leviticus 20:13 says that if man lies with man it is abomination and they "shall surely be put to death..." Should we make that the law?

Leviticus 20:9 says that anyone who commits adultery should be put to death. Should we make that the law?

Deuteronomy 22:20-21 says that if a women is not a virgin on her wedding night, she's to be brought to her father's door and the men of the town are to stone her to death. Should we make that the law?

Leviticus 20:9 says that if I curse my mother or father I must be put to death. Should we make that a law?

Deuteronomy 21:18-21 says that if a couple has a disobedient, stubborn, gluttonous and drunk son...they can tell the town folk to stone him to death. Should that become a law?

Exodus 35:2 says if people work on the Sabbath they are to be put to death, should we make that the law?

Leviticus 25:44-45 tells us it's okay to make slaves of our surrounding nations peoples. Sounds like an easy fix to the whole illegal immigration issue...should we make that a law?

Of course, if the slaves get unruly...Exodus 21:20-21 says that if a man beats his slave and they die, he'll probably have to be punished but if they get up after a day or two, no punishment since the slaves are his property anyway.

If the slaves are still upset after the beating they barely survived, let them read the God's mandate in 1 Peter 2:18 that tells them to submit to their masters, regardless of if they are nice or harsh.

Of course, according to 1 Timothy 2:12 no woman should be so brazen as to be correcting my wayward apostate ways. This gem also applies to woman being supervisors, managers, or CEO's in the workplace.

If you truly believe we are a Christian nation, well...Deuteronomy 12:2-3 says we should go to all non-Christian places of worship and thoroughly destroy them out of existence.

Okay...let's be honest, if you read a few verses on, it actually tells us to kill anyone who has a different religions than yours.

On that note, what laws should we create on how to deal with those unruly youths if they make the dastardly mistake of calling a religious leader a..."baldhead" (gasp!)? 2 Kings 2:23-24 says that the leaders may feed them to hungry bears.

Leviticus 19:19 tells us not to wear clothes made of two types of fabric. Though, this one probably only warrants a misdemeanor fine.

Leviticus 19:27-28 says not to cut your hair nor shave or get tattoos, should me make those laws?

Leviticus 20:27 says that Psychics (among other things) are to be stoned to death. If we make this a law, the many major downtown city economies will take a dip...well, aside from the funeral and burial industry.

Leviticus 20:18 says that if a man has sex with a woman on her period, they are both to be "cut off from their people." Should we make this a law and create little internment camps for these folks?

Leviticus 21:9 says that if a priest's daughter is a whore, she is to be burnt at the stake. Should we make this a law?

Leviticus 23:14-16 says that anyone who curses or blasphemes God, should be stoned to death by the community. I wonder if we should use tax money to create a "Town Stoning Center?"

Deuteronomy 13:5 tells us that the First Amendment needs to be revised just slightly. If anyone uses their free speech to talk against God, or convince people away from God, they need to be put to death. Should we make that a law?

I could go on and on but I think you're getting the point. Mark Twain once said, ""The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also." Before they go on writing anti-homosexual legislation, a topic Jesus of Nazareth NEVER spoke on, maybe they should focus on figuring out why their own God-approved marriages are failing half of the time...

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