Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Obama and the Birthers

Obama released his birth certificate today. Whew. Now hopefully these Bigfoot conspiracy theorists turned political hounds can FINALLY shut up about this and the perpetual nonsense can FINALLY stop. Uh...maybe not. As I've been trolling message boards, blogs and Facebook eagerly looking for the opportunity to drop the smug "I told you so" whenever and wherever possible, imagine my surprise to see that this issue is FAR from over.

In fact, what should have ultimately stamped out the crazy only seems to have transformed it into Crazy 2.0. I really don't know how to respond when evidence is rejected simply because it doesn't confirm your position. That's like religion. Oh wait. We are dealing with the Religious Right here. Okay now it makes a little more sense. Well maybe "makes a little more sense" is the wrong way to phrase that...

Dostoyevsky once penned: “Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic.”

See, that's what I meant by "makes a little more sense."

I frequently get accused of doing that which I call others out for, namely, pulling party line regardless of the situation. You know, like Republicans requiring a different standard of Obama (produce your Birth certificate, school records, "made in the usa" baby-binkie from his infancy, etc) than has been required of any President yet.

Although, I'll grant you that the GOP did thoroughly reject Romney for his Mormonism almost as bad as they did for Obama being a Muslim. Of course, the big difference there is that Romney actually is a Mormon...

Anyhow, to prove I'm not a party-liner, let me propose a scenario and how I would react.

Let's assume Sarah Palin wins the next election and becomes President (come on, take a hit from a bong if that's what it takes for you to take this imaginary journey with me) of the United States of America.

Let's also assume that the Democrats learn from the Republican's masterful political strategies and they embrace MSNBC as their official media propagandizing mechanism. The Dems, in conjunction with every MSNBC talk show host, begin a brutal smear campaign of President Palin, attacking her level of mental intelligence. They focus on questioning her intelligence for believing that the earth is 6,000 years old. Word leaks that a "Palin IQ Test" exists. Grass-roots organizations generate pressure for her to make public her IQ test score to prove her mental competency is above levels of those we generally consider "unaccountable for their actions."

The Palin administration ignores this based upon the idiocy of the issue at hand but these neanderthal grass-root patriotic Democrats just want answers. There is an easy solution. Just reveal the IQ test results. If there is nothing to hide why hasn't President Palin released the results? She becomes so bogged down with the insanity of the people she has been elected to govern that she finally just decides to release them. Issue over?

No, of course, not. The evil puppet-masters that are pulling her strings have obviously just had time to fake the test results to show that she shouldn't be wearing a helmet in her day-to-day activities.

I want you Birthers to know that this is EXACTLY how I think you come off to the normal people of the world. However, in the (hopefully) improbable case that this scenario actually comes to pass - Just know that I will be equally outspoken in her defense as I am with this ludicrous birther issue.


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