Agnes Repplier, a turn-of-the-century essayist, once penned: “Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.” My goal is that the reader may learn in humor and spare themselves the bruises of irony. Those in favor of passing California Proposition 8 have been using "What If" persuasion tactics since the beginning to try and garner voters to their side. We can't let it pass because what if this happens. Or if we let gays marry then this will happen. Well this is my ode to the ultimate "What If" scenario.
WHAT IF Prop 8 does pass? WHAT IF the voters do ultimately choose to discriminate against a fractional percentage of the citizenry and the current right of same sex marriage is taken away? WHAT IF the issue then goes to a higher court? California would be at an impasse between what the majority of citizens want and what the state supreme court deemed legal. An appeal to a higher court would be the logical next step. Let's say it actually does make it's way to the final court, the highest court, the grand-daddy of them all, the United States Supreme Court.
Now here is where you need to pay close attention. WHAT IF the US Supreme Court agrees with the absurd idea that we cannot treat one citizen different from another citizen and WHAT IF they choose to sustain the decisions reached by the Supreme Courts of California, Massachusetts, and Connecticut? WHAT IF they rule that the federal government must either allow marriage for all or dissolve the institution of marriage altogether and call government regulated social contracts something entirely different altogther? WHAT IF they just leave marriage for the religions. I mean, after all, it is a religious institution. The LDS proclamation on the family says "that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God."
WHAT IF they rule that everyone must come to the government for a civil union or a domestic partnership in place of civil marriages? I mean, all we keep hearing from the YES on Prop 8 campaigners is how it is just as good as marriage. Well, now they will get to have it. And if they want a "marriage ceremony" they can go to their respective churches and religions.
Now, and I know this is absolute crazy talk but stay with me, WHAT IF all of the zealous religionists who have fought the good fight to preserve the sanctity of marriage ultimately destroy our nation's definition of marriage as the fundamental unit of society simply because they were afraid that an infinitesimal fraction of a percentage point of vile heathen sinners would dare to defile and destroy the sanctity of marriage by entering into a contract of love and commitment?
WHAT IF it is organized religion that ultimately destroys the sanctity of marriage instead of homosexual mimicry? Oh, the sweet pangs of irony.